1 00:00:04,104 --> 00:00:07,208 (Journey's "Any Way You Want It" playing) 2 00:00:08,543 --> 00:00:10,678 ♪ 3 00:00:10,711 --> 00:00:14,014 ♪ All night, all night 4 00:00:14,048 --> 00:00:17,084 ♪ Oh, every night 5 00:00:17,117 --> 00:00:19,086 ♪ So hold tight 6 00:00:19,119 --> 00:00:21,256 ♪ Hold tight 7 00:00:21,289 --> 00:00:23,258 ♪ Ooh, baby, hold tight 8 00:00:23,291 --> 00:00:25,560 ♪ She said any way you want it 9 00:00:25,593 --> 00:00:27,495 ♪ That's the way you need it 10 00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:30,331 ♪ Any way you want it 11 00:00:30,365 --> 00:00:33,234 ♪ She said any way you want it 12 00:00:33,268 --> 00:00:34,902 ♪ That's the way you need it 13 00:00:34,935 --> 00:00:37,071 ♪ Any way you want it. 14 00:00:37,104 --> 00:00:39,440 -(applause, whooping) -(laughs) 15 00:00:43,110 --> 00:00:45,079 Commander Grayson, everybody. 16 00:00:45,112 --> 00:00:47,448 Come on, how terrific is she, huh? 17 00:00:47,482 --> 00:00:49,784 That's just great. All right, coming up next, 18 00:00:49,817 --> 00:00:52,753 we have Lieutenant Commander Bortus. 19 00:00:52,787 --> 00:00:55,256 -Where is Bortus? -I am Bortus. 20 00:00:56,457 --> 00:00:57,458 JOHN: W-W-W-Wai-Wait. 21 00:00:57,492 --> 00:00:58,926 You actually sing? 22 00:00:58,959 --> 00:01:00,961 Well, get on up here, big guy. 23 00:01:00,995 --> 00:01:02,697 Let's show everybody what you can do. 24 00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:05,266 -Good luck. -Come on! -Yeah! -Whoo! 25 00:01:05,300 --> 00:01:06,967 (whooping) 26 00:01:07,001 --> 00:01:09,370 Lieutenant Malloy taught me this song. 27 00:01:09,404 --> 00:01:11,138 I will now sing it. 28 00:01:11,171 --> 00:01:13,374 (Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On" begins) 29 00:01:13,408 --> 00:01:14,275 -Yeah! -(cheering) 30 00:01:14,309 --> 00:01:15,610 You will be silent! 31 00:01:17,512 --> 00:01:18,813 ♪ 32 00:01:18,846 --> 00:01:21,148 Is this... is this happening? 33 00:01:21,181 --> 00:01:23,083 I-I... 34 00:01:23,117 --> 00:01:25,119 (intro continues) 35 00:01:30,791 --> 00:01:32,760 -(electronic beep) -MAN (over comm): Bridge to Captain. 36 00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:34,762 We're receiving a high-priority message 37 00:01:34,795 --> 00:01:36,564 from Admiral Halsey at Union Central. 38 00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:39,300 (sighs): Send it to the briefing room. 39 00:01:41,135 --> 00:01:43,638 I'm sorry to interrupt you during your off hours. 40 00:01:43,671 --> 00:01:45,840 No, no. Your timing was actually perfect. 41 00:01:45,873 --> 00:01:48,743 Are you familiar with the Navarian-Bruidian conflict? 42 00:01:48,776 --> 00:01:50,345 Over Lopovius? Sure. 43 00:01:50,378 --> 00:01:52,246 You might have to refresh my memory. 44 00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:54,315 They're two races who have been fighting over 45 00:01:54,349 --> 00:01:55,750 the planet Lopovius forever. 46 00:01:55,783 --> 00:01:57,785 They each say they colonized it first. 47 00:01:57,818 --> 00:01:59,286 They've got some bloody history, 48 00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:00,955 and they're on the brink of war again-- 49 00:02:00,988 --> 00:02:02,523 which would be a disaster, because they're 50 00:02:02,557 --> 00:02:04,959 right on the border of Union space, and you can bet 51 00:02:04,992 --> 00:02:07,462 -they'll drag their allies into it. -How can we help? 52 00:02:07,495 --> 00:02:09,864 An ancient artifact has been discovered on Lopovius. 53 00:02:09,897 --> 00:02:11,432 The Bruidians and Navarians 54 00:02:11,466 --> 00:02:14,469 have agreed to allow it to be examined for residual DNA 55 00:02:14,502 --> 00:02:16,270 by a neutral Union archaeologist. 56 00:02:16,303 --> 00:02:18,606 If either species' DNA signature is found, 57 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:21,041 that race can lay claim to the planet. 58 00:02:21,075 --> 00:02:23,043 I got to say, that sounds kind of shaky. 59 00:02:23,077 --> 00:02:25,312 Do we really think the loser will honor the agreement? 60 00:02:25,346 --> 00:02:27,815 I'm skeptical, too, but that's what they say. 61 00:02:27,848 --> 00:02:29,617 They've agreed to have the Orville host 62 00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:31,386 while they await the results. 63 00:02:31,419 --> 00:02:34,054 The artifact is currently aboard the USS Olympia. 64 00:02:34,088 --> 00:02:37,291 You will rendezvous with her in orbit of Lopovius, 65 00:02:37,324 --> 00:02:39,394 where you'll take on board a forensic archaeologist 66 00:02:39,427 --> 00:02:41,028 who will perform the tests. 67 00:02:41,061 --> 00:02:42,697 And the Navarians and Bruidians 68 00:02:42,730 --> 00:02:45,132 are each going to send an ambassador and staff. 69 00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:47,067 Pretty combustible scenario. 70 00:02:47,101 --> 00:02:49,404 They loathe each other, so be very careful. 71 00:02:49,437 --> 00:02:51,806 But that being said, as long as they're there, 72 00:02:51,839 --> 00:02:54,575 we'd love you to take one last run at informal peace talks. 73 00:02:54,609 --> 00:02:57,912 The best option would be if they could share Lopovius. 74 00:02:57,945 --> 00:02:59,414 Well, we'll do our best. 75 00:02:59,447 --> 00:03:01,882 (sighs): I know you will. 76 00:03:01,916 --> 00:03:04,452 ♪ 77 00:03:09,957 --> 00:03:11,191 What about accommodations? 78 00:03:11,225 --> 00:03:12,993 Remember, these guys hate each other. 79 00:03:13,027 --> 00:03:15,996 I can put them on C and G decks on opposite sides of the ship, 80 00:03:16,030 --> 00:03:17,565 which should lower the risk 81 00:03:17,598 --> 00:03:20,868 -of them running into each other unsupervised. -Perfect. 82 00:03:20,901 --> 00:03:22,837 All right, let's try not to screw this up. 83 00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:25,205 Gordon, set a course for Lopovius, and engage 84 00:03:25,239 --> 00:03:26,774 -quantum drive. -Aye, sir. 85 00:03:28,443 --> 00:03:30,411 ♪ 86 00:03:51,666 --> 00:03:53,901 Hard to believe that little planet 87 00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:56,370 is the cause of so much conflict. 88 00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:58,873 Shuttle bay reports the archaeologist is arriving now. 89 00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:01,709 All right, let 'em know we're on our way. What's his name? 90 00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:03,611 ALARA: They're sending a personnel file. 91 00:04:03,644 --> 00:04:06,080 -I'll let you know as soon as I have it. -Send it to our comms. 92 00:04:06,113 --> 00:04:07,448 Aye, sir. 93 00:04:08,849 --> 00:04:10,250 (gasps softly) 94 00:04:10,284 --> 00:04:12,720 Oh, my God. 95 00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:14,589 What is the matter? 96 00:04:14,622 --> 00:04:16,323 Aw... 97 00:04:19,860 --> 00:04:21,796 ♪ 98 00:04:26,467 --> 00:04:28,603 Ensign Brooks, put a hold on the shuttle. 99 00:04:28,636 --> 00:04:30,538 The shuttle just docked. 100 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:34,008 (quietly): Crap. 101 00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:44,418 It's Darulio. 102 00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:46,253 The guy she cheated with? 103 00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,255 The one with the stuff coming out of his head? 104 00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:50,591 -How did you know about that? -You told me. 105 00:04:50,625 --> 00:04:52,259 Oh. Yeah. 106 00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:53,528 Uh... 107 00:04:53,561 --> 00:04:55,996 That's him. 108 00:04:56,030 --> 00:04:59,534 That's our forensic archaeologist. 109 00:05:03,871 --> 00:05:05,806 ♪ 110 00:06:10,705 --> 00:06:12,339 Oh, my God. 111 00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:14,742 I can't believe this. How-how is this happening? 112 00:06:14,775 --> 00:06:17,111 Yeah, I know. Awkward situation. 113 00:06:17,144 --> 00:06:18,713 I am so sorry. 114 00:06:18,746 --> 00:06:20,547 Look, I've been digging on Lopovius 115 00:06:20,581 --> 00:06:21,849 for the past six months. 116 00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:23,550 I just heard on the way over here 117 00:06:23,584 --> 00:06:25,385 it was gonna be you guys. 118 00:06:25,419 --> 00:06:27,554 If I'd have had more time, I would have recused myself. 119 00:06:27,588 --> 00:06:29,690 Well, I'm sorry you didn't have more time. 120 00:06:29,724 --> 00:06:31,291 Look, Ed... 121 00:06:31,325 --> 00:06:34,729 Can I call you Ed? I... We've never actually met. 122 00:06:34,762 --> 00:06:36,296 Well, you were screwing my wife at the time, 123 00:06:36,330 --> 00:06:38,298 so I guess we all kind of just forgot our manners. 124 00:06:38,332 --> 00:06:39,967 Oh, for God's sakes, don't make this worse. 125 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:41,301 No, no, no, Kel, it's fine. 126 00:06:41,335 --> 00:06:42,603 He's entitled to his feelings 127 00:06:42,637 --> 00:06:45,372 and the space to express them. 128 00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:47,775 Look, can I just cut through some of this? 129 00:06:47,808 --> 00:06:49,543 I think we can all agree 130 00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:51,712 that the end of the bloodshed on Lopovius 131 00:06:51,746 --> 00:06:53,447 would be a wonderful thing. 132 00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:57,551 And I think... that's bigger than the three of us. 133 00:06:57,584 --> 00:06:58,953 I'm just saying... 134 00:06:58,986 --> 00:07:01,121 I'm here to work. 135 00:07:01,155 --> 00:07:03,257 What about you guys? 136 00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:08,595 (Ed takes deep breath) 137 00:07:08,629 --> 00:07:09,797 Fine. 138 00:07:09,830 --> 00:07:12,900 (smacks lips) Hey, hey, guys. 139 00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:17,037 Alara, show Darulio here to his stupid lab. 140 00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:28,883 -(presses button repeatedly) -Ed? 141 00:07:30,384 --> 00:07:33,954 -Were you just trying to shut the doors? -No, I was not. 142 00:07:35,990 --> 00:07:39,293 I know what you're thinking, but don't you even put this on me. 143 00:07:39,326 --> 00:07:41,929 (chuckles): I cannot believe you slept with that guy, 144 00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:44,098 -I really can't. -Here we go. Is me apologizing 145 00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:46,033 for the 900th time somehow gonna make a difference? 146 00:07:46,066 --> 00:07:47,868 Did you hear what he said just now? 147 00:07:47,902 --> 00:07:50,304 He goes, he goes: I am entitled to my feelings 148 00:07:50,337 --> 00:07:52,039 and the space to express them. 149 00:07:52,072 --> 00:07:54,441 My God, thank you for lighting me on fire 150 00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,543 and then giving me permission to be in pain. 151 00:07:56,576 --> 00:07:58,779 You know what? I really don't like your tone right now. 152 00:07:58,813 --> 00:08:00,547 Oh, I'm sorry, Kel, are you uncomfortable? Are you? 153 00:08:00,580 --> 00:08:02,449 Well, you know what you should do? You should... 154 00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:03,583 (door whooshes open) 155 00:08:04,885 --> 00:08:06,687 (chuckles): Whoa. Top brass alert. 156 00:08:06,721 --> 00:08:08,322 Captain. Commander. 157 00:08:08,355 --> 00:08:09,924 -What's up? -Hello. 158 00:08:12,359 --> 00:08:14,862 (Ed sighs) 159 00:08:14,895 --> 00:08:18,332 We should get some music in these elevators, huh? 160 00:08:18,365 --> 00:08:21,301 A little soundtrack to our lives. 161 00:08:21,335 --> 00:08:22,837 What do you think? 162 00:08:22,870 --> 00:08:25,405 Yeah. We'll look into it. 163 00:08:25,439 --> 00:08:27,407 Sweetness. 164 00:08:30,610 --> 00:08:33,513 You know, I got some playlists I could send you. 165 00:08:33,547 --> 00:08:35,315 Oh, yeah, it closes for you. 166 00:08:35,349 --> 00:08:36,917 What do you want to do, Ed? 167 00:08:36,951 --> 00:08:38,685 Is-is there anything to do? 168 00:08:38,719 --> 00:08:40,721 Is there another forensic archaeologist 169 00:08:40,755 --> 00:08:42,422 specializing in ancient Lopovian pottery 170 00:08:42,456 --> 00:08:44,691 in this star system who you haven't had sex with? 171 00:08:44,725 --> 00:08:46,861 No? Then I'll be fine. 172 00:08:46,894 --> 00:08:49,096 Yeah. You seem fine. 173 00:08:49,129 --> 00:08:50,464 (door whooshes open) 174 00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:54,401 Your quarters are right next to the lab. 175 00:08:54,434 --> 00:08:56,871 There's a food synthesizer in there, and there are lab techs 176 00:08:56,904 --> 00:08:58,672 standing by if you need anything. 177 00:08:58,705 --> 00:08:59,940 Amazing. 178 00:08:59,974 --> 00:09:03,543 So... you know Kelly and Ed? 179 00:09:03,577 --> 00:09:05,412 Yeah. Yeah, I do. 180 00:09:05,445 --> 00:09:07,547 Did you guys, like, go to school together...? 181 00:09:07,581 --> 00:09:11,351 Oh! Oh, man! I am so sorry! 182 00:09:11,385 --> 00:09:12,920 No, no, it's my fault. I'm an idiot. 183 00:09:12,953 --> 00:09:14,254 Yaphit, are you okay? 184 00:09:14,288 --> 00:09:15,355 Yeah, I'm fine. It's all good. 185 00:09:15,389 --> 00:09:17,224 What is all this stuff? 186 00:09:17,257 --> 00:09:18,558 It's nothing. Just some stuff. 187 00:09:18,592 --> 00:09:21,195 -Uh, hey, can I get that back, please? -Hmm? 188 00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:23,297 Oh. I'm... so sorry. 189 00:09:25,232 --> 00:09:27,401 -Uh... -Just put it anywhere, guy. 190 00:09:27,434 --> 00:09:29,804 (chuckles): You don't have to find my G-spot. 191 00:09:29,837 --> 00:09:31,806 There you go. Nice work. 192 00:09:31,839 --> 00:09:33,073 Okay, I'll see you guys later. 193 00:09:37,411 --> 00:09:40,147 And we're done with all of his shots. 194 00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:44,318 -What a brave little guy you are, Topa. -Thank you, Dr. Finn. 195 00:09:44,351 --> 00:09:47,254 Bortus, will you be home for dinner? 196 00:09:47,287 --> 00:09:49,389 I have already told you, 197 00:09:49,423 --> 00:09:51,391 we have an important diplomatic assignment-- 198 00:09:51,425 --> 00:09:53,828 -I must work late. -Very well. 199 00:09:53,861 --> 00:09:57,597 We will just spend another night by ourselves. 200 00:09:57,631 --> 00:09:59,433 -(Topa fussing) -(Bortus sighs) 201 00:10:01,468 --> 00:10:05,605 -You guys having a rough time? -All we do is fight. 202 00:10:05,639 --> 00:10:09,076 Klyden will not stop eating, the child never sleeps, 203 00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:11,846 and we have not resumed normal... relations. 204 00:10:11,879 --> 00:10:14,081 Why do people have babies? 205 00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:15,482 Well, the first year's tough. 206 00:10:15,515 --> 00:10:16,817 You guys'll find a rhythm. 207 00:10:16,851 --> 00:10:18,853 (sighs) 208 00:10:18,886 --> 00:10:21,922 Excuse me. I hope I'm not interrupting. 209 00:10:21,956 --> 00:10:24,591 -Oh, my God. -Dr. Claire Finn, 210 00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:28,495 -these are for you. -Yaphit, I'm extremely busy. 211 00:10:28,528 --> 00:10:31,098 Look, I'm gonna go for broke-- I'm here to ask you out 212 00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:33,600 to dinner, and I'm not gonna take no for an answer. 213 00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,035 Then we have a problem-- 214 00:10:35,069 --> 00:10:37,337 because "no" is the only answer I have for you. 215 00:10:37,371 --> 00:10:39,539 Well, let's see if you still feel that way 216 00:10:39,573 --> 00:10:41,175 in five minutes. 217 00:10:41,208 --> 00:10:43,510 ♪ Hey, little girl 218 00:10:43,543 --> 00:10:46,680 ♪ I wanna be your boyfriend 219 00:10:48,382 --> 00:10:51,051 ♪ Sweet little girl 220 00:10:51,085 --> 00:10:52,552 -Yaphit. -♪ I wanna be your boyfriend 221 00:10:52,586 --> 00:10:54,521 Yaphit, stop it right now. 222 00:10:54,554 --> 00:10:56,823 This is a medical facility, and you are 223 00:10:56,857 --> 00:10:59,726 -way out of line. -Look, just give me a chance, huh? 224 00:10:59,759 --> 00:11:01,395 I really care about you. 225 00:11:01,428 --> 00:11:03,063 I see how warm you are. 226 00:11:03,097 --> 00:11:06,733 I see what a good mother you are to those awful boys. 227 00:11:06,766 --> 00:11:09,136 I see how smart and funny and wise you are. 228 00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:10,337 And I... 229 00:11:10,370 --> 00:11:13,140 I love you. Okay? I love you. 230 00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:15,142 Yaphit, the answer is no. 231 00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:18,578 Look, you've been coming in here for months pulling this crap. 232 00:11:18,612 --> 00:11:20,915 If it happens again, I'm gonna submit 233 00:11:20,948 --> 00:11:22,516 a formal complaint. Now go! 234 00:11:22,549 --> 00:11:23,918 All right. 235 00:11:23,951 --> 00:11:25,852 I had to give it my best shot. 236 00:11:25,886 --> 00:11:28,222 I won't bug you again. 237 00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:35,462 (sniffs) 238 00:11:43,603 --> 00:11:45,405 Oh, hey. 239 00:11:45,439 --> 00:11:47,507 Hey. 240 00:11:47,541 --> 00:11:51,178 -I just wanted to check in and see how it's going. -Oh. 241 00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:52,746 Really well so far. 242 00:11:52,779 --> 00:11:55,249 The detail in these carvings is really something. 243 00:11:55,282 --> 00:11:57,251 When do you think you might have some information? 244 00:11:57,284 --> 00:11:59,686 Well, these scans will have to be analyzed, 245 00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:02,256 and if we find any residual DNA, 246 00:12:02,289 --> 00:12:04,224 that'll have to be cross-referenced 247 00:12:04,258 --> 00:12:08,862 against present-day samples of both species, so... few days? 248 00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:11,298 Sounds good. 249 00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:15,235 You didn't have to come all the way down here 250 00:12:15,269 --> 00:12:16,603 just to get a status update. 251 00:12:16,636 --> 00:12:18,138 (sighs) 252 00:12:18,172 --> 00:12:21,775 Okay, um... I do have something to say. 253 00:12:21,808 --> 00:12:25,612 I really regret what happened between us, 254 00:12:25,645 --> 00:12:28,048 and it's never gonna happen again. 255 00:12:28,082 --> 00:12:29,549 I've put a lot of time 256 00:12:29,583 --> 00:12:31,451 into rebuilding my relationship with Ed. 257 00:12:31,485 --> 00:12:33,053 Oh, you two are back together? 258 00:12:33,087 --> 00:12:34,621 No. Oh, God, no. 259 00:12:34,654 --> 00:12:36,923 He would never trust me in that way again. 260 00:12:36,957 --> 00:12:38,625 I meant as professionals. 261 00:12:38,658 --> 00:12:41,428 I just want to make it clear. 262 00:12:41,461 --> 00:12:43,797 Wha... Wha-What are you doing? 263 00:12:43,830 --> 00:12:45,832 You just had a stray hair. 264 00:12:45,865 --> 00:12:48,335 Oh. 265 00:12:48,368 --> 00:12:50,704 Thanks. 266 00:12:52,339 --> 00:12:55,275 What's... different? 267 00:12:55,309 --> 00:12:57,511 -You look great. -I gave up sugar. 268 00:12:57,544 --> 00:13:00,280 And I'm doing an hour of headstand meditation a day. 269 00:13:00,314 --> 00:13:01,848 -Really? -Mm. 270 00:13:01,881 --> 00:13:03,617 You can totally tell. 271 00:13:03,650 --> 00:13:06,586 I mean, the whites of your eyes are, like, super white. 272 00:13:06,620 --> 00:13:08,288 Really makes your skin pop. 273 00:13:08,322 --> 00:13:10,757 Oh, thanks. It's all circulation, yeah. 274 00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:12,292 And it really helps with everything. 275 00:13:12,326 --> 00:13:15,929 Mental focus, clarity, you know, muscle tone. 276 00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:17,431 Sex drive. 277 00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:18,932 Yeah? 278 00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:21,635 Oh, God, you know, it is just so hard 279 00:13:21,668 --> 00:13:23,603 to take care of yourself on the ship. 280 00:13:23,637 --> 00:13:26,940 It's, like, where's the me time, you know? 281 00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:30,344 Where is the you time? 282 00:13:39,253 --> 00:13:41,688 Captain, the Bruidians have arrived, 283 00:13:41,721 --> 00:13:44,224 and the Navarians are approaching. 284 00:13:44,258 --> 00:13:45,959 However, the shuttle bay is reporting 285 00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:47,794 there is no one there to receive them. 286 00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:50,730 Kelly's supposed to be down there. Where is she? 287 00:13:52,066 --> 00:13:54,634 Internal scan shows her in her quarters. 288 00:13:54,668 --> 00:13:55,902 What the hell? 289 00:14:02,176 --> 00:14:03,710 (door chimes) 290 00:14:03,743 --> 00:14:05,512 (sighs) 291 00:14:11,185 --> 00:14:12,919 Kel? 292 00:14:12,952 --> 00:14:15,122 (Kelly laughs) 293 00:14:21,728 --> 00:14:23,597 Kelly, the Bruidian ambassadors 294 00:14:23,630 --> 00:14:25,031 -are here, and there... -(Kelly gasps) 295 00:14:25,065 --> 00:14:27,101 Oh, no. 296 00:14:32,739 --> 00:14:34,174 I... 297 00:14:34,208 --> 00:14:35,942 (sighs) 298 00:14:45,419 --> 00:14:47,954 Ed, hang on. I can explain. 299 00:14:47,987 --> 00:14:50,457 I don't need it explained. You're a sexual jihadist! 300 00:14:50,490 --> 00:14:52,126 Lower your voice and calm down, okay? I can explain. 301 00:14:52,159 --> 00:14:53,893 Oh, am I yelling? Am I yelling? 302 00:14:53,927 --> 00:14:56,430 Are you worried people are gonna hear that you banged Darulio 303 00:14:56,463 --> 00:14:58,698 again when you were supposed to be in the shuttle bay 304 00:14:58,732 --> 00:15:01,034 preventing a war from starting? Are you insane?! 305 00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:02,769 Look, I thought we talked about this, okay. 306 00:15:02,802 --> 00:15:04,404 We can both see whoever we want, isn't that what we agreed? 307 00:15:04,438 --> 00:15:05,805 Oh, come on. You're not gonna pretend 308 00:15:05,839 --> 00:15:07,374 that that is not completely out of bounds? 309 00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:09,243 I like him, Ed, okay? I can't help it. 310 00:15:09,276 --> 00:15:11,145 And guess what. I have the right to like 311 00:15:11,178 --> 00:15:13,313 -whoever I want. -Oh, come on. You're not... 312 00:15:13,347 --> 00:15:16,816 Whoa! We all have to stop meeting like this. 313 00:15:19,286 --> 00:15:21,255 (Ed sighs) 314 00:15:21,288 --> 00:15:23,557 (beeps) 315 00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:25,058 (Kelly sighs) 316 00:15:25,091 --> 00:15:27,093 So, did you have a chance to talk to anyone 317 00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:28,928 about getting music in these elevators? 318 00:15:28,962 --> 00:15:31,265 You know what, Dann? Why don't you make that your project, huh? 319 00:15:31,298 --> 00:15:32,832 Why-why don't you look into that? 320 00:15:32,866 --> 00:15:35,001 Will do, Cap'n. 321 00:15:35,034 --> 00:15:37,171 (elevator whirs to a stop, doors whoosh open) 322 00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:42,342 You are all barbarians! 323 00:15:42,376 --> 00:15:44,010 The planet is ours, 324 00:15:44,043 --> 00:15:45,912 and your colonies are a blatantly hostile incursion! 325 00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:47,414 ED: What's going on? 326 00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:49,483 They went from zero to furious in two seconds. 327 00:15:49,516 --> 00:15:50,917 And that's your justification 328 00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,186 for the killing of innocent civilians?! 329 00:15:52,219 --> 00:15:53,920 What are we supposed to do 330 00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:55,922 when you attack our supply lines in order to starve us out?! 331 00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:59,259 Starvation would be too noble a death for your kind. 332 00:15:59,293 --> 00:16:00,760 -(snarls) -Hey! No! -ED: Oh, hey, hey, hey, guys! 333 00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:02,095 Guys, guys, relax, okay? 334 00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:03,597 Just take a breath, all right? 335 00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:05,265 I know traveling's a bitch, but calm down. 336 00:16:05,299 --> 00:16:07,334 We're gonna get you all to your rooms and squared away. 337 00:16:07,367 --> 00:16:11,004 Bruidians, we have salt water for bathing in your quarters. 338 00:16:11,037 --> 00:16:13,607 Navarians, we've programmed our food synthesizers to serve 339 00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:15,175 Cavellian Spiceroot for dinner. 340 00:16:15,209 --> 00:16:17,344 Thank you, Captain. 341 00:16:17,377 --> 00:16:19,112 Very thoughtful. 342 00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:22,182 Now, look, I know you've both agreed 343 00:16:22,216 --> 00:16:24,451 to honor the results of the archaeological tests, 344 00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:27,454 but that means one of you loses big. 345 00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:29,323 So here's what I'm proposing. 346 00:16:29,356 --> 00:16:32,392 Why don't we meet tomorrow and just talk, 347 00:16:32,426 --> 00:16:34,494 see if maybe there's a way for you both 348 00:16:34,528 --> 00:16:36,396 to peacefully share the planet, 349 00:16:36,430 --> 00:16:39,899 just so we can say we tried? 350 00:16:39,933 --> 00:16:41,568 (Bruidian ambassador sighs) 351 00:16:41,601 --> 00:16:43,136 Fine. 352 00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:44,838 Agreed. 353 00:16:44,871 --> 00:16:47,173 Look at that. We're making progress already. Terrific. 354 00:16:47,207 --> 00:16:48,908 All right, so why don't you guys head 355 00:16:48,942 --> 00:16:50,410 to your rooms, relax, have a drink? 356 00:16:50,444 --> 00:16:52,646 Uh, minibar's on the house, so 357 00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:54,981 go bananas on those MandM'S, huh? 358 00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:57,384 All right. 359 00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:10,397 Okay, so what happened exactly? 360 00:17:10,430 --> 00:17:13,267 I don't know. I went to the lab 361 00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:15,535 to tell him there was nothing between us anymore, 362 00:17:15,569 --> 00:17:19,606 but then I looked into his eyes, and... 363 00:17:19,639 --> 00:17:21,741 I guess I forgot how gorgeous he is. 364 00:17:21,775 --> 00:17:23,777 Gorgeous? Really? 365 00:17:23,810 --> 00:17:26,346 Those aqua blue eyes against that deep blue skin? 366 00:17:26,380 --> 00:17:27,781 Ridiculous. 367 00:17:27,814 --> 00:17:30,617 My mom redid our bathroom in those colors. 368 00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:33,152 -I guess it's nice. -Chardonnay. 369 00:17:34,921 --> 00:17:37,257 He has this magnetism. 370 00:17:37,291 --> 00:17:40,694 And then, the next thing I knew, we're back in my quarters. 371 00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:42,529 -Wow. -It's just... 372 00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:44,264 (sighs) It's hard to explain. 373 00:17:44,298 --> 00:17:46,199 It's like a drug. 374 00:17:46,232 --> 00:17:47,434 Was it like that with Ed? 375 00:17:47,467 --> 00:17:48,868 Totally different. 376 00:17:48,902 --> 00:17:50,437 Ed's the kind of guy you could send out 377 00:17:50,470 --> 00:17:52,406 -for tampons and bagels. -Hmm. 378 00:17:52,439 --> 00:17:54,441 And he always made me laugh. 379 00:17:54,474 --> 00:17:55,709 That sounds nice. 380 00:17:55,742 --> 00:17:58,712 Yeah, sure, but Darulio... 381 00:17:58,745 --> 00:18:02,816 It's just this super intense sexual desire, 382 00:18:02,849 --> 00:18:05,619 and this rush every time I see him. 383 00:18:05,652 --> 00:18:07,754 He's all I can think about. 384 00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:10,757 So much so that you forgot about the arrival of the delegates. 385 00:18:10,790 --> 00:18:13,427 Oh, it's fine. It all worked out. 386 00:18:13,460 --> 00:18:16,930 You know, I think the first time around with Darulio, 387 00:18:16,963 --> 00:18:19,933 all I could think about was how badly I messed up with Ed. 388 00:18:19,966 --> 00:18:23,102 And maybe I was so busy feeling guilty 389 00:18:23,136 --> 00:18:25,439 that I missed something. 390 00:18:25,472 --> 00:18:27,106 Missed what? 391 00:18:27,140 --> 00:18:29,743 That I'm in love with him. 392 00:18:29,776 --> 00:18:31,110 Darulio's the one. 393 00:18:31,144 --> 00:18:32,479 He's my soul mate. 394 00:18:34,047 --> 00:18:36,383 Should I get bangs? 395 00:18:38,952 --> 00:18:41,287 How the hell could she do this again? 396 00:18:41,321 --> 00:18:42,689 How-how is this happening? 397 00:18:42,722 --> 00:18:44,924 Yeah, it's not ideal, but, I mean, 398 00:18:44,958 --> 00:18:47,260 it's not like you and Kelly are still together, so, 399 00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:48,762 -technically, she didn't even... -No, Gordon. 400 00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:50,864 We're not together because of that guy, okay? 401 00:18:50,897 --> 00:18:52,599 There is no way to spin this 402 00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:54,634 where her judgment is not completely off the damn scale. 403 00:18:54,668 --> 00:18:56,035 Okay, well, you know what? 404 00:18:56,069 --> 00:18:57,270 Maybe just focus on the peace talks, huh? 405 00:18:57,303 --> 00:18:58,605 That's a good distraction, right? 406 00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:00,474 No. You know what? I'm firing that guy. 407 00:19:00,507 --> 00:19:02,442 We'll get a new archaeologist. It'll be a minor delay. 408 00:19:02,476 --> 00:19:04,678 But he is gone. Darulio is gone. 409 00:19:07,581 --> 00:19:10,149 Pack up your crap. You're fired. 410 00:19:10,183 --> 00:19:12,018 What? 411 00:19:12,051 --> 00:19:13,453 You're gone. Right now. 412 00:19:13,487 --> 00:19:14,721 What you did was beyond unprofessional. 413 00:19:14,754 --> 00:19:16,656 It's your ship. 414 00:19:16,690 --> 00:19:18,625 I don't want to cause any trouble. 415 00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:20,360 You don't want any trouble. That is... 416 00:19:20,394 --> 00:19:22,729 -(laughing): My God, that is hilarious. -Well, it's too bad, 417 00:19:22,762 --> 00:19:24,664 because we're really making some progress here. 418 00:19:24,698 --> 00:19:26,332 You-you want to see something cool? 419 00:19:26,366 --> 00:19:27,834 Do I want to see something cool? 420 00:19:27,867 --> 00:19:29,503 Have you heard anything I just said? 421 00:19:29,536 --> 00:19:31,371 Yes, I heard all of it. 422 00:19:31,405 --> 00:19:33,339 And you're absolutely right to be angry. 423 00:19:33,373 --> 00:19:35,341 I-I have no excuse, other than the fact 424 00:19:35,375 --> 00:19:36,876 that I come from a culture 425 00:19:36,910 --> 00:19:38,978 where it is considered rude to turn down sex. 426 00:19:39,012 --> 00:19:41,581 But if you want to kick me out, I totally get it. 427 00:19:41,615 --> 00:19:43,349 But I'd love to show you something first. 428 00:19:43,383 --> 00:19:46,386 Come have a look. 429 00:19:46,420 --> 00:19:48,755 (Ed sighs) 430 00:19:52,592 --> 00:19:54,260 What? What am I looking at? 431 00:19:54,293 --> 00:19:57,931 Ancient DNA. Maybe 30,000 years old. 432 00:20:00,434 --> 00:20:02,368 Is it Bruidian or Navarian? 433 00:20:02,402 --> 00:20:04,604 Incomplete. I need to do some computer analysis 434 00:20:04,638 --> 00:20:06,706 to see if there are any markers. 435 00:20:06,740 --> 00:20:08,241 Well, how was it preserved? 436 00:20:08,274 --> 00:20:09,743 This artifact? 437 00:20:09,776 --> 00:20:11,244 Turns out it's a birthing bucket. 438 00:20:11,277 --> 00:20:13,012 The DNA was found 439 00:20:13,046 --> 00:20:15,915 in the remnants of placenta recovered from inside of it. 440 00:20:15,949 --> 00:20:17,617 You're kidding. 441 00:20:17,651 --> 00:20:19,085 We should know whether 442 00:20:19,118 --> 00:20:21,555 there are any genetic markers in 36 hours. 443 00:20:21,588 --> 00:20:23,757 Well, good. Hopefully, that'll give us some time 444 00:20:23,790 --> 00:20:25,525 to broker some peace. 445 00:20:25,559 --> 00:20:27,260 So, I should just... 446 00:20:27,293 --> 00:20:30,630 give my notes to the next archaeologist. Is that cool? 447 00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:36,703 You know, um, what'd you say, 36 hours? 448 00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:39,105 -Mm-hmm. -Yeah. 449 00:20:39,138 --> 00:20:42,241 Why don't you just stay, you know? 450 00:20:42,275 --> 00:20:44,878 I mean, it's... We can work through this like adults. 451 00:20:44,911 --> 00:20:46,580 For the sake of the peace. 452 00:20:46,613 --> 00:20:48,815 If that's what you're comfortable with. 453 00:20:52,686 --> 00:20:54,621 Do you, um... 454 00:20:54,654 --> 00:20:56,756 Do you maybe want to get a drink later? 455 00:20:56,790 --> 00:20:58,625 Like, we could meet in the mess hall, you know. 456 00:20:58,658 --> 00:21:00,159 Something like that. Just, no-nothing crazy. 457 00:21:00,193 --> 00:21:02,428 -Just-just a drink. -Just totally cazh? 458 00:21:02,462 --> 00:21:03,763 Yeah, just totally, whatever, you know. 459 00:21:03,797 --> 00:21:05,932 -8:00? -Love it. 460 00:21:05,965 --> 00:21:08,401 -Okay. -Okay. 461 00:21:08,434 --> 00:21:11,838 Groov-ay. (laughs) 462 00:21:11,871 --> 00:21:13,940 Why did I...? I don't-- I don't know why I just said that. 463 00:21:13,973 --> 00:21:17,243 Groov-ay. I... I've never said that before 464 00:21:17,276 --> 00:21:18,745 in my life. That's not how I talk. 465 00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:20,013 I don't say those things. That's... 466 00:21:20,046 --> 00:21:21,981 (laughs, groans) 467 00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:27,186 -I'll see you there. -Yeah. 468 00:21:37,363 --> 00:21:38,832 (door chimes) 469 00:21:46,205 --> 00:21:47,507 Claire? 470 00:21:47,541 --> 00:21:49,275 I got off early today. 471 00:21:49,308 --> 00:21:51,377 Can I come in? 472 00:21:51,410 --> 00:21:54,814 I'm gonna give that a big yes. 473 00:22:07,326 --> 00:22:10,664 So... this is your place. 474 00:22:10,697 --> 00:22:13,066 This is it. This is where the magic happens. 475 00:22:14,267 --> 00:22:16,736 -What's that? -Oh, well, that's my bed. 476 00:22:16,770 --> 00:22:18,104 Here, I'll show you. 477 00:22:21,941 --> 00:22:24,510 Ah, it's nice just to be able to spread out 478 00:22:24,544 --> 00:22:27,313 at the end of a long shift. 479 00:22:27,346 --> 00:22:29,115 (giggles) Tickles. 480 00:22:31,284 --> 00:22:32,819 And what is this? 481 00:22:32,852 --> 00:22:35,689 -Is this you and your mom? -Kind of. 482 00:22:35,722 --> 00:22:36,823 My species reproduces by mitosis. 483 00:22:36,856 --> 00:22:38,858 That used to be my mom, 484 00:22:38,892 --> 00:22:40,860 but now it's me and my brother. 485 00:22:40,894 --> 00:22:42,596 He got the looks, obviously. 486 00:22:42,629 --> 00:22:43,930 Yaphit. 487 00:22:43,963 --> 00:22:45,098 Yeah? 488 00:22:46,199 --> 00:22:48,902 Do you want to kiss me? 489 00:22:48,935 --> 00:22:50,503 What? I, uh... 490 00:22:50,536 --> 00:22:52,005 Yeah, totally. 491 00:22:52,038 --> 00:22:53,907 I'd like that a lot. 492 00:23:06,252 --> 00:23:08,054 Oh. 493 00:23:08,087 --> 00:23:10,189 What, uh... 494 00:23:10,223 --> 00:23:12,225 what made you change your mind? 495 00:23:12,258 --> 00:23:13,559 Forget about that. 496 00:23:13,593 --> 00:23:15,394 Where do we go from here? 497 00:23:15,428 --> 00:23:17,731 Want to go for a swim? 498 00:23:17,764 --> 00:23:20,466 (inhales) 499 00:23:24,838 --> 00:23:26,940 -(door chimes) -Come in. 500 00:23:26,973 --> 00:23:29,375 Hi. What's up? 501 00:23:29,408 --> 00:23:31,811 Oh, hey. Glad you're here. I want to show you something. 502 00:23:31,845 --> 00:23:34,648 Hey, how did it go with Darulio? Did you send him packing? 503 00:23:34,681 --> 00:23:37,550 Oh, you know, it turns out he's almost done with his work, 504 00:23:37,583 --> 00:23:40,153 so I just figured might as well leave it, you know? 505 00:23:40,186 --> 00:23:42,588 Really? I mean, y-you seemed pretty pissed. 506 00:23:42,622 --> 00:23:44,057 Yeah, you know, we got to talking, 507 00:23:44,090 --> 00:23:46,292 and it turns out he's a pretty cool guy. 508 00:23:46,325 --> 00:23:48,127 Like, really cool, actually. 509 00:23:48,161 --> 00:23:50,063 We're having drinks in a half hour. 510 00:23:50,096 --> 00:23:52,799 You're... meeting for drinks. 511 00:23:52,832 --> 00:23:54,133 Yeah. I mean, it's just... 512 00:23:54,167 --> 00:23:55,935 just drinks, you know. It's no big deal. 513 00:23:55,969 --> 00:23:58,304 It's not like we're getting married or anything. (laughs) 514 00:23:58,337 --> 00:23:59,673 What? 515 00:23:59,706 --> 00:24:01,507 -Check this out. -Wait, 516 00:24:01,540 --> 00:24:03,276 are-aren't you supposed to be mediating the peace talks? 517 00:24:03,309 --> 00:24:04,577 What do you think? 518 00:24:04,610 --> 00:24:06,245 You're gonna wear that to drinks? 519 00:24:06,279 --> 00:24:08,281 -You hate it. -Very much so, yes. 520 00:24:08,314 --> 00:24:10,583 God, you know, I just... I want to show some personal style. 521 00:24:10,616 --> 00:24:12,919 You know? Darulio has such great style, 522 00:24:12,952 --> 00:24:16,455 and I just want to step up to that level. 523 00:24:16,489 --> 00:24:19,025 You seem like you're really into him. 524 00:24:19,058 --> 00:24:20,359 Not into him. 525 00:24:22,228 --> 00:24:23,863 Okay. 526 00:24:23,897 --> 00:24:25,298 But, it's like, what if I was? 527 00:24:25,331 --> 00:24:26,866 You know, what if I was? Why couldn't I be? 528 00:24:26,900 --> 00:24:28,301 Hey, you can be whatever you want, man. 529 00:24:28,334 --> 00:24:29,435 I just want you to be happy. 530 00:24:29,468 --> 00:24:30,603 I just didn't know you were... 531 00:24:30,636 --> 00:24:32,371 I'm not into him, okay? 532 00:24:32,405 --> 00:24:34,207 But it's like, why do we have to be so rigid? 533 00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:35,775 You know, why do we have to have all these rules 534 00:24:35,809 --> 00:24:37,376 and labels and things? 535 00:24:37,410 --> 00:24:39,378 It's like, why-why do we have to put people in boxes? 536 00:24:39,412 --> 00:24:42,115 You know? Why-why even call a box a box? 537 00:24:42,148 --> 00:24:44,617 I think it's just easier to have words. 538 00:24:44,650 --> 00:24:46,319 Easier for who? Not the box. 539 00:24:46,352 --> 00:24:48,187 Maybe the box wants to do its own thing. 540 00:24:48,221 --> 00:24:49,723 You ever think of that? 541 00:24:50,824 --> 00:24:52,558 Okay, I'm-I'm confused. 542 00:24:52,591 --> 00:24:54,393 Do you want to bang Darulio? 543 00:24:54,427 --> 00:24:57,463 Bang, be banged, but why you so hung up on labels, man? 544 00:24:57,496 --> 00:24:58,965 You know what? You're the problem. 545 00:24:58,998 --> 00:25:00,734 You are the problem. 546 00:25:00,767 --> 00:25:02,635 You know what, instead of frantically labeling people 547 00:25:02,668 --> 00:25:04,971 all day long, why don't you take a look in the mirror? Huh? 548 00:25:05,004 --> 00:25:06,239 Do that for a change. 549 00:25:06,272 --> 00:25:07,841 God, you should be happy for me. 550 00:25:07,874 --> 00:25:09,642 I don't... Wait. What time is it? Oh, my God. 551 00:25:09,675 --> 00:25:11,377 I'm late. Listen, you gonna be up later? 552 00:25:11,410 --> 00:25:13,146 'Cause I'm gonna give you a call. All right? 553 00:25:13,179 --> 00:25:14,848 Talk to you soon. 554 00:25:14,881 --> 00:25:18,184 (door whooshes open and shut) 555 00:25:18,217 --> 00:25:19,986 I'm telling you, she's acting really weird. 556 00:25:20,019 --> 00:25:21,721 It's like she's not even herself. 557 00:25:21,755 --> 00:25:23,322 Could be drugs. 558 00:25:23,356 --> 00:25:26,259 -Our first officer is not on drugs. -Uh, wake up. 559 00:25:26,292 --> 00:25:28,728 This whole ship's on drugs. 560 00:25:28,762 --> 00:25:31,064 Excuse me. I would like to know 561 00:25:31,097 --> 00:25:32,732 when we can expect the results 562 00:25:32,766 --> 00:25:34,233 of the tests on the artifact. 563 00:25:34,267 --> 00:25:35,434 They should be available soon. 564 00:25:35,468 --> 00:25:37,336 Neither your captain nor your first officer 565 00:25:37,370 --> 00:25:39,038 have responded to my messages. 566 00:25:39,072 --> 00:25:41,240 Is it your custom to ignore your guests? 567 00:25:41,274 --> 00:25:43,276 There's Captain Mercer now. 568 00:25:43,309 --> 00:25:44,778 I'm sure he can give you any updates you may need. 569 00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:49,849 Captain, I have been trying to reach you for two hours. 570 00:25:49,883 --> 00:25:51,550 My people are becoming restless. 571 00:25:51,584 --> 00:25:53,086 Look, just hang tight. We'll have some info soon. 572 00:25:53,119 --> 00:25:54,921 The Bruidians are openly hostile to us. 573 00:25:54,954 --> 00:25:56,956 We do not wish to remain on the same vessel with them 574 00:25:56,990 --> 00:25:58,391 -any longer than we must. -Look, just relax. 575 00:25:58,424 --> 00:26:00,626 Okay? We'll have this whole thing sorted out 576 00:26:00,659 --> 00:26:03,462 -in no time. Excuse me. -(stammers) 577 00:26:06,599 --> 00:26:07,867 Hey. 578 00:26:07,901 --> 00:26:10,904 Hmm. So, I'm standing 579 00:26:10,937 --> 00:26:12,405 -in this huge line for the bathroom... -Hey there. 580 00:26:12,438 --> 00:26:14,307 Hey. Have a seat. Kelly's just in the middle 581 00:26:14,340 --> 00:26:16,242 -of telling a story. -Oh. 582 00:26:16,275 --> 00:26:19,212 -Great. -Anyway, 583 00:26:19,245 --> 00:26:20,914 so I overhear 584 00:26:20,947 --> 00:26:23,216 my Interspecies Diplomacy professor bragging 585 00:26:23,249 --> 00:26:24,750 to a bunch of people about how he thought I wanted 586 00:26:24,784 --> 00:26:27,220 -to hook up with him, and... -With Professor Fincher? 587 00:26:27,253 --> 00:26:29,088 -Yes! The same. -What? 588 00:26:29,122 --> 00:26:30,423 Such a scumbag, right? 589 00:26:30,456 --> 00:26:31,925 -So, then I walk up to him.... -Yeah, yeah. 590 00:26:31,958 --> 00:26:34,060 You pushed him in the pool. She pushed him in the pool. Revenge! 591 00:26:34,093 --> 00:26:35,094 Girl power! Yay! Oh, my God. 592 00:26:35,128 --> 00:26:36,429 I've heard this story, like, a thousand times. 593 00:26:36,462 --> 00:26:38,097 So, how was the rest of your day? 594 00:26:38,131 --> 00:26:39,765 Ed, what are you doing here? 595 00:26:39,799 --> 00:26:41,734 Darulio and I made plans to have a drink, 596 00:26:41,767 --> 00:26:43,169 so that's starting now. 597 00:26:43,202 --> 00:26:45,404 Our drink plan. 598 00:26:45,438 --> 00:26:48,341 -Well, why don't we just all have a drink, then? -Sure. 599 00:26:48,374 --> 00:26:50,576 Well, actually, we had some stuff that we wanted to discuss. 600 00:26:50,609 --> 00:26:52,178 Um... Oh, by the way, 601 00:26:52,211 --> 00:26:53,913 the Navarians are getting kind of cranky over there. 602 00:26:53,947 --> 00:26:55,581 Maybe you could go distract them with your breasts. 603 00:26:55,614 --> 00:26:56,916 You know what, I'm gonna grab us a drink. 604 00:26:56,950 --> 00:26:58,818 -Everybody want a round? -Sure. 605 00:26:58,852 --> 00:27:00,954 I'll have what you're having. 606 00:27:03,022 --> 00:27:04,457 What are you doing? Are you messing with me? 607 00:27:04,490 --> 00:27:05,624 Is this punishment? 608 00:27:05,658 --> 00:27:07,626 Wow, what a narcissist you are. 609 00:27:07,660 --> 00:27:09,662 No, this is not punishment. 610 00:27:09,695 --> 00:27:11,097 I happen to think he's a cool guy. 611 00:27:11,130 --> 00:27:13,499 You think he's a cool guy? 612 00:27:13,532 --> 00:27:14,667 Yeah, that's what I said. 613 00:27:14,700 --> 00:27:17,603 Are you wearing cologne? 614 00:27:17,636 --> 00:27:19,272 So? 615 00:27:19,305 --> 00:27:20,673 Did you pluck your eyebrows? 616 00:27:20,706 --> 00:27:22,608 No. 617 00:27:22,641 --> 00:27:24,143 Oh, I know these moves. 618 00:27:24,177 --> 00:27:25,979 These are your stupid moves. You used them on me. 619 00:27:26,012 --> 00:27:27,280 What are you talking about? 620 00:27:27,313 --> 00:27:28,514 The accidental hand touching? 621 00:27:28,547 --> 00:27:30,316 The excessive grooming? 622 00:27:30,349 --> 00:27:32,852 I hate to break it to you, but you're not his type. 623 00:27:32,886 --> 00:27:34,453 Well, we'll just see about that, won't we? 624 00:27:34,487 --> 00:27:35,821 Oh, this is gonna be so sad. 625 00:27:35,855 --> 00:27:36,890 Yeah, maybe for you. 626 00:27:36,923 --> 00:27:38,457 -Hey, hey. -Hey. 627 00:27:38,491 --> 00:27:41,060 -Here you go. Let's have a toast. -Ah. 628 00:27:41,094 --> 00:27:43,229 To old friends. 629 00:27:43,262 --> 00:27:45,231 To new beginnings. 630 00:27:51,837 --> 00:27:53,572 Commander, the Bruidians are asking 631 00:27:53,606 --> 00:27:54,740 to speak with the bridge. 632 00:27:54,773 --> 00:27:55,741 Put them through. 633 00:27:57,443 --> 00:27:58,577 Good day, Ambassador. 634 00:27:58,611 --> 00:28:01,080 I trust you slept well last night. 635 00:28:01,114 --> 00:28:03,082 Where is the captain? 636 00:28:03,116 --> 00:28:04,817 I am Lieutenant Commander Bortus. 637 00:28:04,850 --> 00:28:06,019 Captain Mercer is attending 638 00:28:06,052 --> 00:28:07,987 -to other matters. -We have reason to believe 639 00:28:08,021 --> 00:28:10,723 that the Navarians are exerting an influence over the test, 640 00:28:10,756 --> 00:28:12,691 and I have not been able to reach Captain Mercer 641 00:28:12,725 --> 00:28:14,327 or Commander Grayson. 642 00:28:14,360 --> 00:28:17,363 I assure you, no one is getting special treatment. 643 00:28:17,396 --> 00:28:20,566 I want to speak to Captain Mercer. 644 00:28:20,599 --> 00:28:22,568 I will look into the matter and contact you soon. 645 00:28:22,601 --> 00:28:23,903 Bridge out. 646 00:28:23,937 --> 00:28:26,405 Where are the captain and the commander? 647 00:28:26,439 --> 00:28:28,541 The last time I saw them, they were in the mess hall. 648 00:28:28,574 --> 00:28:30,576 But, sir... 649 00:28:30,609 --> 00:28:33,179 the commander's been acting very weird lately. 650 00:28:33,212 --> 00:28:34,280 Weird? 651 00:28:34,313 --> 00:28:38,117 Well, she's, like, obsessed with Darulio. 652 00:28:38,151 --> 00:28:39,385 -It's all she talks about. -You know, 653 00:28:39,418 --> 00:28:40,786 Ed's been acting really strange 654 00:28:40,819 --> 00:28:42,221 with Darulio, too. 655 00:28:42,255 --> 00:28:44,890 He seems... kind of into him. 656 00:28:44,924 --> 00:28:47,460 What do you mean "into him"? 657 00:28:47,493 --> 00:28:49,062 I mean, into him. 658 00:28:49,095 --> 00:28:50,729 Your statement is confusing. 659 00:28:50,763 --> 00:28:54,067 Has the captain entered Mr. Darulio in some fashion? 660 00:28:54,100 --> 00:28:55,568 Not yet. 661 00:28:55,601 --> 00:28:57,870 Marcus, Ty. 662 00:28:57,903 --> 00:28:59,438 What are you guys doing on the bridge? 663 00:28:59,472 --> 00:29:01,374 My mom's been locked in her office for hours, 664 00:29:01,407 --> 00:29:03,642 and she won't answer the door. 665 00:29:08,914 --> 00:29:10,816 (door chimes) 666 00:29:11,951 --> 00:29:14,420 Claire, are you in there? 667 00:29:21,460 --> 00:29:23,296 Oh, my God! 668 00:29:27,666 --> 00:29:29,602 (sighs) 669 00:29:40,146 --> 00:29:42,415 (breathing heavily) 670 00:29:42,448 --> 00:29:45,251 All right. Now, what can I do for you? 671 00:29:45,284 --> 00:29:47,353 What the hell did I just walk in on? 672 00:29:47,386 --> 00:29:49,455 Yeah, you're lucky I'm so easygoing. 673 00:29:49,488 --> 00:29:52,091 There's a little thing called privacy, you know. 674 00:29:52,125 --> 00:29:54,793 Claire, we are in sickbay. 675 00:29:54,827 --> 00:29:55,961 And you were just doing 676 00:29:55,995 --> 00:29:57,763 I don't know what with Yaphit. 677 00:29:57,796 --> 00:29:59,198 You hate Yaphit! 678 00:29:59,232 --> 00:30:01,434 Alara, I just never gave him a chance. 679 00:30:01,467 --> 00:30:02,968 But when I finally 680 00:30:03,002 --> 00:30:05,438 allowed myself to take down my walls, I realized 681 00:30:05,471 --> 00:30:07,706 what an idiot I've been. 682 00:30:07,740 --> 00:30:09,442 Yaphit and I are soul mates. 683 00:30:09,475 --> 00:30:11,110 We're going to get married. 684 00:30:11,144 --> 00:30:12,945 Yeah, a lot of soul mates around here lately. 685 00:30:12,978 --> 00:30:14,480 My God! 686 00:30:14,513 --> 00:30:15,948 You should be happy for me. 687 00:30:15,981 --> 00:30:17,383 I'm in love. 688 00:30:17,416 --> 00:30:18,651 (over comm): Bortus to Lieutenant Kitan. 689 00:30:18,684 --> 00:30:21,254 Hang on. Just... stay right there. 690 00:30:22,388 --> 00:30:25,291 (sighs) Go ahead. 691 00:30:25,324 --> 00:30:26,892 The Bruidians and the Navarians are both threatening 692 00:30:26,925 --> 00:30:28,394 to withdraw from the agreement 693 00:30:28,427 --> 00:30:31,297 -and to settle their conflict in battle. -Oh, great. 694 00:30:31,330 --> 00:30:33,132 The computer shows the captain and the commander 695 00:30:33,166 --> 00:30:35,201 near Science Lab 1, but they are not responding. 696 00:30:35,234 --> 00:30:37,370 I'm on my way there. Tell the delegates to stand by. 697 00:30:37,403 --> 00:30:38,737 Are you all done in there? 698 00:30:38,771 --> 00:30:40,239 I want to go for round two. 699 00:30:40,273 --> 00:30:41,640 Yaphit, listen to me. 700 00:30:41,674 --> 00:30:43,376 You are not to have any contact with Claire 701 00:30:43,409 --> 00:30:44,810 until I figure out what's going on. 702 00:30:44,843 --> 00:30:46,212 -Understand? -Hey, man, 703 00:30:46,245 --> 00:30:48,314 the jelly wants what the jelly wants. 704 00:30:48,347 --> 00:30:50,083 Not today. I am giving you a direct order. 705 00:30:50,116 --> 00:30:52,085 Go back to your quarters, and do not answer the door. 706 00:30:52,118 --> 00:30:53,586 Wait, wh-why? 707 00:30:53,619 --> 00:30:56,522 Because I said so! 708 00:30:57,623 --> 00:31:00,726 You have beautiful hands. 709 00:31:00,759 --> 00:31:03,262 Thank you. Well, based on 710 00:31:03,296 --> 00:31:04,497 the computer's progress, 711 00:31:04,530 --> 00:31:06,165 we should have our answers very shortly. 712 00:31:06,199 --> 00:31:07,433 (sighs) You're a genius. 713 00:31:07,466 --> 00:31:09,202 (door whooshes open) 714 00:31:09,235 --> 00:31:11,837 Hey, Dar. Hey, listen, 715 00:31:11,870 --> 00:31:13,539 I know it's your last night here, 716 00:31:13,572 --> 00:31:15,374 and since you have to work late, 717 00:31:15,408 --> 00:31:16,742 I made us a little dinner. 718 00:31:16,775 --> 00:31:18,444 Some sandwiches. Banana bread. 719 00:31:18,477 --> 00:31:20,446 -Bottle of rosé. -That is so sweet. 720 00:31:20,479 --> 00:31:21,947 Oh, it's just like the dinner I made for you 721 00:31:21,980 --> 00:31:23,582 when you were studying for your officer's exam. 722 00:31:23,616 --> 00:31:25,618 This isn't your dry-ass banana bread, Kelly. 723 00:31:25,651 --> 00:31:27,186 This is my own recipe. 724 00:31:27,220 --> 00:31:28,687 I thought maybe we could have a little picnic, 725 00:31:28,721 --> 00:31:29,955 just you and me. 726 00:31:29,988 --> 00:31:31,424 Oh, sounds great. 727 00:31:31,457 --> 00:31:33,926 But I-I thought we were gonna watch a movie. 728 00:31:33,959 --> 00:31:37,230 Oh. W-Well, Ed was being so thoughtful, 729 00:31:37,263 --> 00:31:39,532 and I'd hate for all that good food to go to waste. 730 00:31:39,565 --> 00:31:41,267 Okay. 731 00:31:41,300 --> 00:31:42,801 (door whooshes open) 732 00:31:42,835 --> 00:31:44,537 Commander, the delegates are at the boiling point. 733 00:31:44,570 --> 00:31:46,071 I really think now's the time for that mediation. 734 00:31:46,105 --> 00:31:47,873 Oh, they've been squawkin' since they got here. 735 00:31:47,906 --> 00:31:49,808 -They'll be fine. -Sir. 736 00:31:49,842 --> 00:31:51,277 I really think it's important. 737 00:31:51,310 --> 00:31:53,246 Besides, I need to talk to Darulio, anyway. 738 00:31:53,279 --> 00:31:55,481 There's been a technical issue with his security clearance. 739 00:31:55,514 --> 00:31:57,416 It's fine. We'll go. 740 00:31:57,450 --> 00:31:59,418 Ed didn't have any other plans, anyway. 741 00:31:59,452 --> 00:32:00,653 All right, fine. 742 00:32:02,521 --> 00:32:04,990 -Dinner in my quarters after? -Deal. 743 00:32:05,023 --> 00:32:07,326 Yes! 744 00:32:08,594 --> 00:32:09,928 Alara to Isaac. 745 00:32:09,962 --> 00:32:11,497 Do me a favor and escort the delegates 746 00:32:11,530 --> 00:32:12,731 to the conference room. 747 00:32:12,765 --> 00:32:13,832 ISAAC (over comm): Yes, Lieutenant. 748 00:32:13,866 --> 00:32:15,668 Okay, what the hell's going on here? 749 00:32:15,701 --> 00:32:17,436 What are you talking about? 750 00:32:17,470 --> 00:32:18,837 I want to know what you're doing 751 00:32:18,871 --> 00:32:21,240 to the captain, the commander and Dr. Finn. 752 00:32:21,274 --> 00:32:23,909 They're all acting like insane teenagers, and it started 753 00:32:23,942 --> 00:32:26,279 when you came on board. Talk. 754 00:32:26,312 --> 00:32:29,582 Okay, you got me. 755 00:32:29,615 --> 00:32:32,084 Once a year, members of my species go through heat. 756 00:32:32,117 --> 00:32:33,486 We release a pheromone 757 00:32:33,519 --> 00:32:36,422 though our skin to help us attract mates. 758 00:32:36,455 --> 00:32:37,523 It's transferred through touch. 759 00:32:37,556 --> 00:32:38,924 I didn't mean to affect Ed 760 00:32:38,957 --> 00:32:40,693 and Kelly, but it probably happened 761 00:32:40,726 --> 00:32:42,661 when we shook hands in the shuttle bay. 762 00:32:42,695 --> 00:32:43,929 And now they're both in artificial, 763 00:32:43,962 --> 00:32:45,264 crippling love with you. 764 00:32:45,298 --> 00:32:46,499 Oh, there's nothing artificial about it. 765 00:32:46,532 --> 00:32:48,100 They're experiencing feelings. 766 00:32:48,133 --> 00:32:49,502 Chemically induced feelings, 767 00:32:49,535 --> 00:32:51,370 I grant you, but feelings nonetheless. 768 00:32:51,404 --> 00:32:54,106 And what about Claire? Why is she all into Yaphit? 769 00:32:54,139 --> 00:32:57,176 I tripped over Yaphit in the corridor. 770 00:32:57,210 --> 00:33:00,679 His gelatinous membrane must have absorbed my pheromones, 771 00:33:00,713 --> 00:33:02,515 and then he transferred them to the doctor somehow. 772 00:33:02,548 --> 00:33:05,284 He was bringing her flowers. 773 00:33:05,318 --> 00:33:07,620 A gelatinous life-form as a Retepsian pheromonal carrier. 774 00:33:07,653 --> 00:33:09,322 (laughs) Could you believe it? 775 00:33:09,355 --> 00:33:11,457 Oh, so this is all just a big joke to you. 776 00:33:11,490 --> 00:33:12,625 Look, it's harmless. 777 00:33:12,658 --> 00:33:14,293 The worst thing that happens... 778 00:33:14,327 --> 00:33:15,561 we all have great sex. 779 00:33:15,594 --> 00:33:16,629 It'll pass. 780 00:33:16,662 --> 00:33:18,397 -When? -A few days. 781 00:33:18,431 --> 00:33:20,999 You do realize that if the Bruidians and the Navarians 782 00:33:21,033 --> 00:33:23,068 go to war, it's all your fault. 783 00:33:23,101 --> 00:33:25,571 Girlfriend, you are making way too big a deal of this. 784 00:33:25,604 --> 00:33:26,939 We're going to sickbay. Now. 785 00:33:31,176 --> 00:33:33,479 -You're a snake. -Hey, it's not my fault 786 00:33:33,512 --> 00:33:35,314 -Darulio likes me better than you. -That's because 787 00:33:35,348 --> 00:33:37,149 he doesn't know what a piece of crap you really are. 788 00:33:37,182 --> 00:33:39,452 -(beeps) -(Bobby Goldsboro's "The Straight Life" playing) 789 00:33:43,789 --> 00:33:45,591 ♪ Sometimes I imagine myself 790 00:33:45,624 --> 00:33:48,994 You know, there really is some justice in all this. 791 00:33:49,027 --> 00:33:51,730 I wind up with the guy who you cheated with 792 00:33:51,764 --> 00:33:53,832 -during our marriage. -Yeah, and when he finds out what 793 00:33:53,866 --> 00:33:56,602 a terrible decision he's made, he'll jump ship just like I did. 794 00:33:56,635 --> 00:33:58,604 You can't hurt me right now. You cannot hurt me. 795 00:33:58,637 --> 00:34:01,073 I'm way too happy. And you may as well 796 00:34:01,106 --> 00:34:03,075 be happy for me, instead of acting like a total bitch. 797 00:34:03,108 --> 00:34:07,112 ♪ Sometimes my thoughts may find me in Mexico ♪ 798 00:34:07,145 --> 00:34:09,948 ♪ Drinking tequila, going out of my mind ♪ 799 00:34:09,982 --> 00:34:13,786 ♪ Having a ball on a couple of bob ♪ 800 00:34:13,819 --> 00:34:17,222 Hey. I got 'em to put the music in. 801 00:34:17,256 --> 00:34:19,392 ♪ Leaving the straight life behind ♪ 802 00:34:19,425 --> 00:34:21,193 If there's any songs you guys want to... 803 00:34:21,226 --> 00:34:22,695 I'm sorry, but do you just ride up and down 804 00:34:22,728 --> 00:34:24,029 the freakin' elevator all day?! 805 00:34:24,062 --> 00:34:26,565 Is that your freakin' job?! 806 00:34:26,599 --> 00:34:29,302 ♪ She comes to me softly with crackers and beer ♪ 807 00:34:29,335 --> 00:34:31,136 -You're all good, man. -♪ Winking and blinking 808 00:34:31,169 --> 00:34:32,137 ♪ And blowing... 809 00:34:33,171 --> 00:34:35,140 Sorry to keep you guys waiting. 810 00:34:35,173 --> 00:34:37,810 (sighs) So, lots to catch up on, huh? 811 00:34:37,843 --> 00:34:40,479 -What's the latest? -That is what we would like to know. 812 00:34:40,513 --> 00:34:43,416 Where are the results of the test on the artifact? 813 00:34:43,449 --> 00:34:44,650 They'll be ready soon. Just be patient. 814 00:34:44,683 --> 00:34:46,652 We have been patient enough! 815 00:34:46,685 --> 00:34:49,221 You have ignored our inquiries since we came aboard! 816 00:34:49,254 --> 00:34:52,758 The Navarian claim to Lopovius must be cemented! 817 00:34:52,791 --> 00:34:54,760 Over our bloodied corpses. 818 00:34:54,793 --> 00:34:56,962 We shall be happy to accommodate. 819 00:34:56,995 --> 00:34:59,565 We will make it our prime objective to wipe out 820 00:34:59,598 --> 00:35:03,135 your entire world, down to the last living creature. 821 00:35:03,168 --> 00:35:04,603 You know what, I'm sorry, I have to interrupt here 822 00:35:04,637 --> 00:35:07,606 for a second, because I cannot hold this in any longer. 823 00:35:07,640 --> 00:35:10,275 I have met the most amazing guy. 824 00:35:10,309 --> 00:35:12,978 And you know how when you meet someone, 825 00:35:13,011 --> 00:35:14,580 you just have to share it with the whole world... 826 00:35:14,613 --> 00:35:17,583 Enough! This mediation is a sham! 827 00:35:17,616 --> 00:35:20,919 You can expect the arrival of the Bruidian Fleet. 828 00:35:20,953 --> 00:35:23,822 It will be met with a superior force. 829 00:35:24,890 --> 00:35:27,660 Well, I got a date. 830 00:35:35,801 --> 00:35:36,935 Well, that's it. 831 00:35:36,969 --> 00:35:39,605 Nothing at all in the Union medical database. 832 00:35:39,638 --> 00:35:42,475 It would appear so. Thank you for your help, Nurse Park. 833 00:35:42,508 --> 00:35:44,276 Guys, I'm telling ya, it wears off. 834 00:35:44,309 --> 00:35:45,444 You're dismissed. 835 00:35:45,478 --> 00:35:47,613 And confined to quarters until further notice. 836 00:35:47,646 --> 00:35:50,315 (chuckles) You guys are being so silly about this... 837 00:35:50,349 --> 00:35:53,819 -You can walk or I can carry you. -All right, I'm going. 838 00:35:53,852 --> 00:35:55,821 Isaac to bridge. 839 00:35:55,854 --> 00:35:59,057 We have analyzed a sample of Mr. Darulio's pheromone, 840 00:35:59,091 --> 00:36:01,560 and there appears to be no known antidote. 841 00:36:01,594 --> 00:36:04,029 -Acknowledged. -JOHN: Commander, we got company. 842 00:36:04,062 --> 00:36:06,231 Bruidian warships, 7,000 kilometers and closing. 843 00:36:06,264 --> 00:36:08,333 Looks like their entire fleet. 844 00:36:08,367 --> 00:36:09,435 Magnify image. 845 00:36:12,571 --> 00:36:14,740 Scanners are showing a second fleet farther out. 846 00:36:14,773 --> 00:36:16,074 Also headed our way. 847 00:36:16,108 --> 00:36:18,711 -The Navarians. -Looks like it. 848 00:36:18,744 --> 00:36:19,612 Raise deflectors. 849 00:36:21,380 --> 00:36:23,749 ♪ 850 00:36:34,627 --> 00:36:37,295 ♪ 851 00:36:39,064 --> 00:36:40,699 Oh, man, this is not good. 852 00:36:40,733 --> 00:36:42,835 Isaac, where is the captain?! 853 00:36:42,868 --> 00:36:45,738 Internal scan shows he is in his quarters. 854 00:36:45,771 --> 00:36:46,739 Bortus to Captain Mercer. 855 00:36:46,772 --> 00:36:49,374 (over comm): Bridge to Captain Mercer. 856 00:36:49,408 --> 00:36:51,243 -Please respond. -(whispers): Don't answer, 857 00:36:51,276 --> 00:36:54,346 don't answer, I'm not here, I'm not here. 858 00:36:54,379 --> 00:36:56,715 -♪ And it's too late, baby -Bridge to Commander Grayson. 859 00:36:56,749 --> 00:36:58,784 ♪ Now it's too late 860 00:36:58,817 --> 00:37:01,253 -Bridge to Commander Grayson. -♪ Though we really did 861 00:37:01,286 --> 00:37:04,523 ♪ Try to make it. 862 00:37:04,557 --> 00:37:08,427 Those fleets are about to destroy each other. 863 00:37:08,461 --> 00:37:11,897 I love your big blue head. 864 00:37:11,930 --> 00:37:14,567 But shouldn't you be on the bridge? 865 00:37:14,600 --> 00:37:17,436 Ugh. I'm always on the bridge. 866 00:37:17,470 --> 00:37:19,104 This is where I want to be right now. 867 00:37:19,137 --> 00:37:22,074 But you're the captain. 868 00:37:22,107 --> 00:37:24,209 And there's a war starting out there. 869 00:37:24,242 --> 00:37:26,411 The only thing I'm captain of right now 870 00:37:26,445 --> 00:37:28,747 is your taut physique. 871 00:37:28,781 --> 00:37:30,315 Now get over here. 872 00:37:35,120 --> 00:37:38,090 Here they are, Commander. 873 00:37:38,123 --> 00:37:40,092 Order your fleets to stand down immediately. 874 00:37:40,125 --> 00:37:41,994 My fleet will stand down 875 00:37:42,027 --> 00:37:44,062 when the last enemy ship is destroyed. 876 00:37:44,096 --> 00:37:46,098 For once, I'm in agreement. 877 00:37:46,131 --> 00:37:48,601 Your Union has been entirely useless in this affair. 878 00:37:48,634 --> 00:37:50,769 We will handle it ourselves from here. 879 00:37:50,803 --> 00:37:53,839 We cannot afford to have this conflict escalate. 880 00:37:53,872 --> 00:37:55,373 Stand down. 881 00:37:58,611 --> 00:38:02,080 Lieutenant, confiscate their communication devices 882 00:38:02,114 --> 00:38:04,783 -and confine them to quarters. -Aye, sir. 883 00:38:08,020 --> 00:38:10,623 Sir, it may be possible to reconfigure 884 00:38:10,656 --> 00:38:12,424 and extend our deflectors to create 885 00:38:12,457 --> 00:38:14,760 a partial barrier between the two fleets. 886 00:38:14,793 --> 00:38:17,262 That would buy us some time. Contact Engineering. 887 00:38:17,295 --> 00:38:19,097 Isaac to Chief Newton. 888 00:38:19,131 --> 00:38:20,499 How much time would be required 889 00:38:20,533 --> 00:38:22,501 to configure the deflectors 890 00:38:22,535 --> 00:38:24,269 to the following specifications? 891 00:38:24,302 --> 00:38:26,471 I can do it fast, but only with Yaphit. 892 00:38:26,505 --> 00:38:28,974 He's the only one who can get to those conduits quick enough. 893 00:38:29,007 --> 00:38:31,777 Lieutenant Yaphit, report to Engineering. 894 00:38:31,810 --> 00:38:33,746 YAPHIT (over comm): On my way, sir. 895 00:38:36,181 --> 00:38:37,983 Mr. Darulio. 896 00:38:38,016 --> 00:38:41,787 I know, I'm under house arrest, but please just hear me out. 897 00:38:41,820 --> 00:38:44,089 There may be a way that I can help. 898 00:38:53,699 --> 00:38:55,233 Where are you going? 899 00:38:55,267 --> 00:38:56,569 Claire! I'm, uh, 900 00:38:56,602 --> 00:38:57,903 I'm on my way to Engineering. 901 00:38:57,936 --> 00:38:59,905 What are you doing with that weapon? 902 00:38:59,938 --> 00:39:01,840 Why haven't you called me? 903 00:39:01,874 --> 00:39:04,643 I've left you, like, 900 messages. 904 00:39:04,677 --> 00:39:06,178 Um, yeah, well, I was told... 905 00:39:06,211 --> 00:39:09,414 What, you just want to slime all over me 906 00:39:09,447 --> 00:39:11,216 and then kick me to the curb? 907 00:39:11,249 --> 00:39:12,818 Why haven't you called me back? 908 00:39:12,851 --> 00:39:14,419 Claire, I-I really have to get to... 909 00:39:14,452 --> 00:39:16,188 Answer the question. 910 00:39:26,899 --> 00:39:29,668 ISAAC: Sir, the fleets have opened fire on each other. 911 00:39:29,702 --> 00:39:31,169 Chief Newton, 912 00:39:31,203 --> 00:39:33,371 what is the status of the deflectors? 913 00:39:33,405 --> 00:39:34,940 Sir, we're still waiting on Yaphit. 914 00:39:34,973 --> 00:39:36,541 He never made it to Engineering. 915 00:39:47,653 --> 00:39:49,254 Commander, permission to open a wide-band channel 916 00:39:49,287 --> 00:39:50,756 to both fleets. 917 00:39:50,789 --> 00:39:52,357 Lieutenant? 918 00:39:52,390 --> 00:39:54,292 Trust me. 919 00:40:02,935 --> 00:40:04,169 Do it. 920 00:40:07,339 --> 00:40:09,107 You're on, guys. 921 00:40:09,141 --> 00:40:11,476 Bruidian fleet, stand down 922 00:40:11,509 --> 00:40:13,211 and return to the home planet. 923 00:40:13,245 --> 00:40:16,048 Navarian fleet, stand down as well. 924 00:40:16,081 --> 00:40:18,150 I've reached an agreement 925 00:40:18,183 --> 00:40:20,052 with the Bruidian ambassador. 926 00:40:20,085 --> 00:40:21,754 An agreement? 927 00:40:21,787 --> 00:40:23,789 Come on, you can tell them the truth. 928 00:40:23,822 --> 00:40:25,457 Well, I... 929 00:40:25,490 --> 00:40:29,327 I don't want them to know before my parents know. 930 00:40:29,361 --> 00:40:31,630 Oh, my God. 931 00:40:31,664 --> 00:40:33,632 You're going to make me cry. 932 00:40:43,375 --> 00:40:45,944 GORDON: Sir, both fleets have disengaged. 933 00:40:45,978 --> 00:40:47,212 They're heading away. 934 00:41:00,659 --> 00:41:03,095 Well, everything looks good, Captain. 935 00:41:03,128 --> 00:41:04,596 How you feeling? 936 00:41:04,629 --> 00:41:06,364 Uh, I'm fine. 937 00:41:06,398 --> 00:41:08,100 Little weirded out, but otherwise fine. 938 00:41:08,133 --> 00:41:09,434 How about you? 939 00:41:09,467 --> 00:41:11,036 Same. 940 00:41:11,069 --> 00:41:12,705 I'm not looking forward to seeing Yaphit again, 941 00:41:12,738 --> 00:41:15,307 -I can tell you that much. -Yeah. 942 00:41:15,340 --> 00:41:17,542 Nurse Park, I'm putting a special commendation 943 00:41:17,575 --> 00:41:18,944 on your record. 944 00:41:18,977 --> 00:41:20,278 The medical computer did the work, sir. 945 00:41:20,312 --> 00:41:22,114 I-It was just a souped-up version 946 00:41:22,147 --> 00:41:24,983 of Mr. Darulio's pheromone. All we had to do was embed it 947 00:41:25,017 --> 00:41:26,985 in the Bruidian's sweat glands, and it was love at first sight. 948 00:41:27,019 --> 00:41:28,954 The only hard part was getting them to shake hands. 949 00:41:28,987 --> 00:41:31,456 All right, I think you're cleared for duty. 950 00:41:31,489 --> 00:41:33,425 Thanks, Doc. 951 00:41:35,060 --> 00:41:36,729 (door chimes) 952 00:41:36,762 --> 00:41:38,196 Come in. 953 00:41:41,433 --> 00:41:43,401 (Ed sighs) 954 00:41:46,671 --> 00:41:48,306 Listen, I... 955 00:41:48,340 --> 00:41:51,076 Can we just not talk about it? Ever? 956 00:41:51,109 --> 00:41:52,911 You know, I was gonna ask you the same thing, 957 00:41:52,945 --> 00:41:54,880 but I was afraid I'd sound like a dick. 958 00:41:54,913 --> 00:41:56,749 You don't. 959 00:41:56,782 --> 00:41:58,917 Well, even so... 960 00:41:58,951 --> 00:42:00,886 I'm sorry. 961 00:42:02,454 --> 00:42:04,757 Well, we have a more immediate problem anyway. 962 00:42:04,790 --> 00:42:07,092 What happens when the pheromone wears off? 963 00:42:07,125 --> 00:42:09,161 The ambassadors are in love now, but in a few days 964 00:42:09,194 --> 00:42:11,196 they'll remember they hate each other again. 965 00:42:11,229 --> 00:42:13,031 Not necessarily. 966 00:42:13,065 --> 00:42:15,167 I just finished my analysis. 967 00:42:15,200 --> 00:42:16,869 It turns out the DNA in the artifact 968 00:42:16,902 --> 00:42:19,371 is both Bruidian and Navarian. 969 00:42:19,404 --> 00:42:20,773 They have a common ancestor. 970 00:42:20,806 --> 00:42:23,008 They both have a claim to Lopovius. 971 00:42:23,041 --> 00:42:24,709 They'll have to share it. 972 00:42:24,743 --> 00:42:27,179 Well, that makes things a lot easier. 973 00:42:27,212 --> 00:42:30,382 Yes. 974 00:42:30,415 --> 00:42:31,583 Can I just say 975 00:42:31,616 --> 00:42:33,752 -that I feel kind of... -Darulio. 976 00:42:33,786 --> 00:42:35,620 Thank you for your report. 977 00:42:35,653 --> 00:42:37,055 The Olympia has just arrived, 978 00:42:37,089 --> 00:42:38,490 and there's a shuttle waiting for you. 979 00:42:41,459 --> 00:42:42,795 Okay. 980 00:42:42,828 --> 00:42:44,797 Darulio, wait. 981 00:42:47,432 --> 00:42:51,103 A year ago, when we met... 982 00:42:51,136 --> 00:42:52,670 were you in heat then? 983 00:42:56,741 --> 00:42:58,143 Maybe. 984 00:43:14,692 --> 00:43:17,629 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH 985 00:43:59,804 --> 00:44:01,706 You've explored space with The Orville.